6 ways to be the best girlfriend you ever had (2023)

Bysabrina bendy


There is so much misinformation out there about what it takes to be a great girlfriend. It's not about cooking your favorite food or wearing sexy lingerie or mastering some crazy sex trick (I'm not saying those things don't help, but they don't get to the heart of the matter!).

Understanding how men think and what they need in a relationship makes a world of difference in the way you relate to each other.

The main prerequisite for being in a great relationship is being your best self. A trap many people fall into in relationships is blaming their partner when problems arise. Instead of seeing what they can do to make things better, they blame him for not being what they want and think if he just did XYZ, everything would be fine.

However, it doesn't work like that. You can never make someone what you want them to be. All you can do is bring the best of you. When you do this, the other person will usually step up and match you on that level.

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1. Be direct (not passive-aggressive)

6 ways to be the best girlfriend you ever had (3)

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Most relationship problems occur because a woman expects a man to meet her needs and then resents him when he doesn't. She doesn't ask for what she wants because he should just "know." She might give hints to help him and get even angrier when he doesn't notice. The man, on the other hand, is frustrated because nothing he does seems good enough. Eventually he gets discouraged and stops trying and she becomes even more resentful.

Neither of them has bad intentions, the problem is that they are not communicating correctly and the reason is that men and women have very different communication styles. Men don't pick up on nuances and subtleties like women do, they need things explained to them clearly and directly.

If you're mad at him, don't act passive-aggressive until he asks you what's wrong (to which you can say "nothing", and he'll understand that it's okay and you'll keep boiling because he should freak out' know it's something!), just tell him what he did wrong In relationships it's usually not what you say, but how you say it.

If you tell a guy something he's been doing that is upsetting or hurting him in a loving and compassionate way, I guarantee he'll try to make it right.

If you're coming from a place of anger or resentment, he'll shut down and be less motivated to correct you. Freud is considered one of the brightest minds in psychology and even he had no idea what women want, so how do you expect the average guy to do it?

Most arguments in relationships stem from deeper underlying issues that are never discussed or resolved. Perhaps a woman feels that her boyfriend doesn't really care about her, or he isn't committed to her because he isn't as caring as he was at the beginning of the relationship, and instead of being honest about it, she scares. about him if he doesn't call back one night or do the dishes after she's made the effort to make him dinner. From there, a big fight over something trivial can break out, while the real issue remains intact. When you want something, or don't want something, just tell him.

2. Value it

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Most women don't realize how hungry men are for appreciation, I certainly had no idea until I started writing about relationships full time. The problem is that we tend to love others as we like to feel love. Women often feel loved when a man is generous and attentive to her and her needs. In turn, many women will be generous with their men, and while that is very nice and appreciated, it is not what men really want.

What a man deeply desires is to feel recognized and appreciated for what he offers. He wants to feel that his efforts have been a success; this goes for everything he does, from treating you to a fancy dinner to taking out the trash.

If he takes you on a nice date, acknowledge and appreciate him for it and let him know you had a great time. Men generally respond more to compliments about something they've done than about who they are. Women often don't realize this because women like general compliments like you're so pretty/nice/funny/caring. Telling a man that he is thoughtful doesn't have the same impact as saying something he did or provided was thoughtful, such as "Thank you for doing the dishes, that was very thoughtful of you."

When a woman really sees and appreciates her man, he feels like the ultimate winner and will do anything to keep her happy.

Another important relationship skill is trying to see the intention behind an action and appreciate it.

I have a personal example for this. Years ago I was dating a guy and one night he called me and asked if he could come over. It was getting late and I was exhausted, but he said he would be there in half an hour, so I agreed. An hour and a half later it still hadn't arrived and I was furious! Where could it be? Why bother to come so late? Why do I have to wait for it when I just need to sleep?

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He finally showed up carrying something that smelled delicious. I immediately went after him for making me wait for him and he sheepishly said, "Sorry, I wanted to surprise you and bring you a quesadilla from that place you love because I know you've been working so hard and there's barely time to eat." ." Even though I was starving and craving a quesadilla, my anger didn't abate and the rest of the night was awkward and tense.

The mistake I made was looking at the action (I was late) instead of the intention (I wanted to make myself happy). I'm not saying I shouldn't have been annoyed that he was late, but the evening probably would have turned out a lot differently if I'd appreciated his good intentions... queue up at the place, he should buy me a bag of chips and call it a day!

No one is perfect and no matter how good your relationship is, there will be times when you are not doing something exactly the way you would like it to be done. You'll go a long way and do your relationship a great service if you focus on what he's doing right instead of what he's not doing.

3. Give him space when he needs it.

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Another big difference between men and women is the way they treatstressand Difficulties While women typically go up to their friends and want to talk, men prefer to retreat into the proverbial man cave and deal with it on their own. A woman may get upset when this happens and think that he is cutting her out of it, but it really has nothing to do with her, it's just how he handles things.

If your boyfriend seems stressed and starts pulling away, leave him alone. Don't coddle him, give him unsolicited advice, or criticize him for not trusting you. If he wants to talk about it with you, he will. If he doesn't and you continue to push him, you're just another source of stress in his life for him to deal with and he'll pull away even further.
Men intuitively know that it is not easy for a woman to give him space when he needs it, and if you can do it without feeling anger or resentment towards him, you will be the woman who touches him more deeply than anyone else.

4. Keep your own life out of the relationship.

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This advice is not only for their own good, it is for your own good. I swear sometimes I feel like I should throw a going away party when a friend of mine has a boyfriend because she will literally fall off the map! I know I won't see her at Sunday brunches or fun nights. You don't want to spend the weekend with the girls. Coming face to face with her will never be easy, and eventually you give in and resign yourself to the fact that you'll see her again at your wedding or if she's ever single again (in which case, she'll be back in full force). and down for whatever!).

It's not just my friends, women make this mistake all the time (including me!).

They start a relationship and the boy becomes the only center of their universe. This is never healthy!

For one, it puts your relationship in a holding pattern and creates a scenario where you can date for years and years without taking the next step. If a guy wants you all of the time, there's no reason for him to take that extra step, but that's another discussion.

Another problem is that your relationship may not be your only source ofhappinessand satisfaction, you need to have a balanced life with various components that satisfy you in different areas. If you throw all that away for your guy, you add a lot of pressure to the relationship and you will never be completely satisfied with what you get out of the relationship (mainly because no one can be everything to you). You may start to resent your partner and feel like they owe you more because you've given up so much for them, but that's not fair because the sacrifices you made were your choice. Another reason why not maintaining your own life outside of the relationship is problematic is that you could end up in a bad relationship much longer than you should because, well, you have nothing to go back to.

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Men usually fall in love with a woman in her absence, not in her presence. If you're always there, he won't experience this deepening bond. To keep your relationship cool and fresh, having time apart to do your thing is essential. He gives you a break from the emotional intoxication of relationships so you can see things more objectively, and he takes some pressure off the relationship so it can develop more organically.

I know it's tempting to date him every time he asks, I know it's flattering when a guy wants so much of your time, I know you might think it's because he's so crazy about you…and maybe he is, but give in. every moment is not a good strategy. If he's a decent guy, he'll respect your boundaries and encourage you to do your own thing from time to time.

5. Take care

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Do not stop exercising, eating healthy, shaving, waxing your legs, drying your hair, or any other healthy or beautifying activities that were part of your life before the relationship. Yes, it's easy to shift to a more laissez-faire approach when you're in a relationship, but if you do, it won't be long before you'll be looking up and down to recapture that fiery spark that once existed.

Look, you don't have to be red carpet ready all the time, but you really have to put in the effort to try to maintain your appearance and look good for your guy. You put your best foot forward for the first few months of dating and there's no reason to stop once things are more established.

This will keep the passion and lust alive in your relationship and also, it is very nice for a man when a woman goes out of her way to look beautiful for him.

The funny thing I notice is that women in relationships (again, including myself), stay home in sweatpants and a messy bun and no makeup when they're home with their guy, but they do their makeup and preen. either on the way out, to impress strangers? The whole thing is so overdue. A friend of mine once lamented to me that his girlfriend had put on about 30 pounds since they started dating and he canceled her gym membership.

He told me that he was still very attracted to her, but he just couldn't understand why she didn't take better care of herself and that was more of a turn off than the weight gain. He felt like she just didn't care anymore and felt trapped because there was no way he could say anything without her getting offended and hurt. He begged me to spread the gospel and tell women that while your love isn't just about your physical appearance, it's very important (and attractive) to continue to take care of yourself at the same level as when you first met... and so! I did!

6. Smile!

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This is another piece of advice that will help you tremendously in your relationship, but also in your life in general. Men can't resist a woman with a smile. In fact, every guy I know has said that a positive attitude is the number one most attractive quality a woman can have. Look, life isn't always going to be rainbows and sunshine, sometimes the poop hits the fan, but your life will be a much better place if you face it all with a smile and the belief that everything will work out for the best.

That kind of energy is contagious, drawing people to you and making you the kind of woman he wants to be with forever. Don't use your boyfriend as a sounding board or your relationship as an emotional dump. When your boyfriend comes home, greet him with a smile...and then vent if you've had a rough day and need to blow off steam.

Try to see the good side of every situation, both in your relationship and outside of it. Most of the things that happen in our lives are neutral, what makes them good or bad is our perception and the thoughts we attribute to that event.6 ways to be the best girlfriend you ever had (9)

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6 ways to be the best girlfriend you ever had (10)

This post originally appeared on A New Mode


What makes someone a girlfriend? ›

A girlfriend is a female friend, acquaintance or partner, usually a female companion with whom one is platonically, romantically, or sexually involved. In a romantic context, this normally signifies a committed relationship where the individuals are not married.

How can I be the best girlfriend over text? ›

How to Prove Your Love to Your Girlfriend over Text
  1. 1 Just say, "I love you."
  2. 2 Compliment her.
  3. 3 Ask insightful questions.
  4. 4 Remember little details that she mentions.
  5. 5 Send good morning and good night texts.
  6. 6 Ask her for advice.
  7. 7 Tell her you can't stop thinking about her.

What makes a girl best girlfriend? ›

To be a good girlfriend, you have to be open and honest with your partner, supportive of their wants and needs, and willing to demonstrate your love and affection for them. Keep in mind that you should also strive to maintain your own independence to enjoy a healthy relationship.

How can I be a best lover? ›

A Certified Sex Therapist Gives Expert Advice on How to Be a...
  1. Start by connecting with yourself first. ...
  2. Work on communicating with your partner. ...
  3. Set aside time for sex—yes, really. ...
  4. Check in with your partner throughout the experience. ...
  5. Show your partner appreciation in and out of the bedroom.
22 Jul 2022

What makes a guy choose a girlfriend? ›

Final Thoughts. There are certain qualities a man looks for in a woman to choose her as his partner. It includes compatibility, attraction, affection, kindness, and confidence. Besides these qualities, sharing values and a strong connection is also important.

What is wifey material? ›

Wifey/Hubby Material describes a person you like enough to marry. This is a term that has taken a more general meaning, but it includes someone who thinks of a partner's future as well as their own.

What is an ideal girlfriend like? ›

Respect- An ideal girlfriend would prefer a balanced relationship where both the people in the couple respect each other equally. Loyalty- A girl who can promise to stand by your side and who does not leave you alone in a difficult situation is the one who deserves to be called an ideal girlfriend.

How do I prove my love to someone? ›

19 Ways To Show Your S.O. You Love Them Without Saying a Word
  1. Be an Active Listener.
  2. Ask Your S.O. How They Are Doing.
  3. Don't Scroll and Talk.
  4. Make Time for Them.
  5. Hang Out with Their Friends.
  6. Send Them Random Cute Messages.
  7. Leave a Love Note.
  8. Show Affection in Public.

What can I text her to make her smile? ›

101 Charming Text Messages To Make Her Smile
  • You came into my life and made it a paradise. I love you, my darling.
  • Watching you smile fills my heart with immeasurable happiness. Keep smiling, my love.
  • My life was boring, black and white. ...
  • I can't imagine my life with anyone except you.
6 days ago

What questions make a girl blush over text? ›

Flirty questions to ask a girl over text: 9 examples to try
  • What are you doing right now? ...
  • Should we send voice messages instead? ...
  • Which emojis do you use most often? ...
  • What are your biggest turn-ons? ...
  • What are your turn-offs? ...
  • Who was your first crush? ...
  • What's your favorite way to relax? ...
  • Have you ever been naked in public?
7 Oct 2022

How do I get him to take me seriously? ›

Now that we've talked briefly about commitment let's go over how to get him to commit to begin with.
  1. Don't force it. ...
  2. Let him chase you. ...
  3. Do your own thing. ...
  4. Build an emotional bond before a sexual one. ...
  5. Ask him. ...
  6. Be his friend first. ...
  7. Be a listener. ...
  8. Make him feel special.
28 Jun 2021

What qualities make a girl special? ›

13 Qualities A Woman Has That Make You Love Her Forever
  • She has the ability to give a direction to your “ego” ...
  • She loves you with all her heart. ...
  • Your place in her life is intact. ...
  • She is passionate and driven. ...
  • She feels shy at times with you. ...
  • She knows herself and celebrates her craziness. ...
  • She cares for your family.

What is the most important quality in a girl? ›

Here are 10 qualities of a good women that you should keep in mind.
  • She's honest, and never apologizes for it. ...
  • She's fiercely passionate. ...
  • She encourages you. ...
  • She's loyal. ...
  • She stands up for those who don't have a voice. ...
  • She keeps only positive, uplifting people in her life. ...
  • She takes responsibility for her own actions.
19 Jan 2019

What is the most important thing in a girlfriend? ›

Read on for 7 things more important than love that you need to know to make your relationship work.
  • Trust. One of the most important parts of a relationship is to trust one another completely. ...
  • Vulnerability. ...
  • Communication. ...
  • Honesty. ...
  • Loyalty. ...
  • Respect. ...
  • Affection. ...
  • These Are the Keys to Successful Relationships.
11 Mar 2019

What a true lover does? ›

Essentially, true love means that you have an unwavering, unbreakable and unparalleled fondness and devotion for your partner. It's also defined by an emotional as well as physical connection with him or her that runs immeasurably deep, and life without your significant other would be practically unthinkable.

What makes a lover special? ›

Apart from the unconditional affection and care of the partner, love gives you a lot many other things. It teaches you the value of kindness, compassion, and selflessness. You always have that one person by your side to hold your hand when the going gets tough.

What are the 5 ways to love? ›

We all give and receive love in 5 different ways: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. These are called 'love languages' - a concept created by Dr. Gary Chapman through his long-time work as a marriage counsellor.

How a guy decides to commit? ›

“A man will commit when he feels a deep connection with a woman that he doesn't feel with anyone else; when he finds a lover who is also his best friend that makes him feel special and unique,” Tripp says.

What makes a man fall deeply in love with a woman? ›

Physical attraction, sexual compatibility, empathy, and emotional connection are key to making a man fall in love with a woman.

What do guys want most in a relationship? ›

Trust, honesty, and fidelity are just some of the many things men seek in a relationship. Women are more vocal about what they need and desire, but things men want in a relationship remain a mystery more often than not.

What makes a man choose a wife? ›

When choosing a wife, a man looks for a woman who makes him feel important and appreciated. Intuitive affection goes a long way to achieve this. Something as simple as holding his hand in public tells the world that you're proud to be with him and want the world to know. This brings him a sense of value.

What do men want in a wife? ›

Like women, men want a life partner who will be trustworthy, faithful and reliable. They want a wife who will stand by their side and, considering divorce rates, it's no surprise that dependability would continue to be attractive.

How can I be a seductive wife? ›

How To Seduce Your Wife And Be Romantic
  1. Charm Your Wife with Romance.
  2. Let the Words Flow To Her.
  3. Reconnecting After Negative Habits.
  4. Intimate Sexual Thoughts and Sensual Feelings.
  5. Consider Her Likes.
  6. Learn To Bring Back the Spark in the Bedroom.
  7. Planning, Planning, and Foreplay.
  8. Couples Therapy Is An Option.
5 Oct 2022

What keeps a girlfriend happy? ›

An adorable gesture, a thoughtful deed, and noticing the little things she does are great ways to make your girlfriend happy. Sending her a “good morning” message or quotes from her favorite books and films are two of the many different ways to make your girlfriend smile her heart out.

What makes a girlfriend attractive? ›

According to science, men find women more attractive when they are smart, intelligent, caring, confident, have a good sense of humor, kind, independent, and supportive. Although these qualities may generally apply, what one man may find the most attractive may differ from another.

What is proof of true love? ›

It shows how proud you both are of each other. True love means that you will do things with your partner just because you know that it will make them happy. He probably can't stand some of the romantic movies that you like, but he'll sit through them for you anyway.

How do you give someone space without losing them? ›

Here's how to give someone space without losing them:
  1. Ask how much time they need. ...
  2. Find out what “space” looks like. ...
  3. Don't ask for an explanation. ...
  4. Thank them for communicating their needs. ...
  5. Honor their request. ...
  6. Encourage them to do their favorite things. ...
  7. Avoid constant texting. ...
  8. Do your own thing.
23 Jun 2022

What is the most romantic word? ›

- “Amour”, the French word for love, has been voted the most romantic word in the world in a pre-Valentine's Day survey of language experts.

How do you melt her heart with words? ›

How do you make her feel special by words?
  1. I cannot stop thinking about you.
  2. I know you will always be my girl.
  3. I have never seen my life the same since I first met you.
  4. I love to make you laugh.
  5. You are more important to me than pepperoni pizza.
  6. You're my favorite girl.
  7. You ground me.

How can I make her fall in love with me everyday? ›

How To Make a Girl Fall For You: 20 Simple Strategies
  1. Work on yourself & have your own life. ...
  2. Be optimistic. ...
  3. Keep the conversation going. ...
  4. Respect her as an equal. ...
  5. Be her friend and make it fun. ...
  6. Be anything but clingy. ...
  7. Take it slow – things will fall in place. ...
  8. Don't make yourself too available.
23 Apr 2018

What's a good flirty text? ›

Flirty texts for him
  • Y/N: Thinking about me?
  • Feeling cuddly? ...
  • Still wearing your sweatshirt…
  • Netflix? ...
  • Can't stop thinking about your lips.
  • How much skin is too much skin to show on our date tonight?
  • You're my favorite veggie—a cute-cumber!
  • Thinking a lot of things about you I can't say…but I could text.
21 May 2022

What is a good flirty question? ›

Cheeky Flirty Questions to Ask a Girl

What would you do If I kissed you right now? What is your biggest turn on? What is your biggest turn off? Do you prefer cuddling or kissing?

How do you make a man want you? ›

Here are some tips and tricks from relationship and matchmaking experts that can help you get a man to focus his attention on you.
  1. Smile. TODAY. ...
  2. Don't hide in the corner. ...
  3. Ask for his help. ...
  4. Talk about your hobbies. ...
  5. Don't dress for your girlfriends. ...
  6. Look him in the eye. ...
  7. Avoid the obvious. ...
  8. Go out alone or with one other friend.
20 Jul 2016

How do you act when a guy takes you for granted? ›

Now, here are some handy tips you can try!
  1. Hence, Don't always be available for him; play hard to get.
  2. Firstly, talk about plans for the future when he isn't there.
  3. Secondly, please do not jump to answer his call or be prompt to reply to his messages; let him wait and expect.
  4. Spend time with yourself.

How do you keep a man into you? ›

How to Keep a Man Interested In You
  1. Express gratitude and appreciation. ...
  2. Prioritize communication over complaints. ...
  3. Respect his personal space. ...
  4. Maintain an individual life outside the relationship. ...
  5. Don't feel insecure about his female friends. ...
  6. Put some effort into looking good. ...
  7. Try new things together.
28 Jun 2022

How can I get a loyal girlfriend? ›

Think of it in terms of earning a loyal girlfriend instead of merely attracting one.
  1. In terms of actually catching her interest, that tends to take care of itself as long as you… live by your own ideal principles, and. ...
  2. Try therapy. ...
  3. Experiment with journaling. ...
  4. Call yourself out. ...
  5. Practice loyalty with your friends.

What lack of intimacy does to a woman? ›

Self-Esteem Issues

Where physical intimacy is lacking, this can cause self-esteem problems. If your partner shows no interest in you physically, you might feel like they're not attracted to you anymore, and this can cause you to question yourself.

What makes love stronger in a relationship? ›

Nurturing your bond every day

Sometimes it's the little things that make the most impact. Prioritizing quality time together, ensuring your partner feels heard and understood, and practicing small acts of kindness every day can help build a strong bond even when life stressors get in the way.

Does sleeping with someone create a bond? ›

Oxytocin is released into the body during intercourse, a hormone which is linked to "positive social functioning and is associated with bonding, trust, and loyalty." The intimacy of an experience is what really causes us to feel attached to someone.

How can I be a special girlfriend? ›

11 Easy Ways To Make Her Feel Extra Special—Tonight
  1. Don't forget compliments. Don't hesitate to tell her how great she looks or smells. ...
  2. Leave behind some surprise notes. ...
  3. Shake things up a bit. ...
  4. Take note of the little things. ...
  5. Be open and honest. ...
  6. Reaffirm your partnership. ...
  7. Talk about your goals. ...
  8. Keep in contact.
5 Sept 2017

What makes a woman special? ›

Women are special for many reasons. They are the most sensitive, caring and maternal people in the world. Women are very sympathetic towards people and things. They use both sides of the brain and men don't.

How do I make her feel special and love? ›

25 Easy Ways To Make Your Girlfriend Feel Special And Loved
  1. Compliment Her Often. Compliments are a great way to make your girl feel special. ...
  2. Plan Little Surprises. Save. ...
  3. Offer Her A Massage. ...
  4. Kiss Her Forehead. ...
  5. Leave Her Surprise Notes Or Messages. ...
  6. Be Respectful To Her. ...
  7. Be Faithful To Her. ...
  8. Make Time for Her.

What every guy wants in a girlfriend? ›

Honesty and truth are some things guys want in a relationship. They want their women to talk out straight on what they need and what they are expecting as they don't understand the turning round and round language. Also, they want their girl to understand their needs and give them space.

How can I be smart and attractive? ›

50 Genius Ways to Be Instantly More Attractive
  1. Wear Red. Who knew color could make such a big difference in your level of attractiveness? ...
  2. Show Off Your Hips. ...
  3. Make Yourself Look Taller. ...
  4. Highlight the Left Side of Your Face. ...
  5. Travel in Groups. ...
  6. Fill in Your Eyebrows. ...
  7. Put On Some Sunglasses. ...
  8. Walk With a Swagger.
9 Oct 2018

What are the signs of a smart girl? ›

Intelligent women are curious and always learning.

They're never content to just accept things as they are. They want to understand why things are the way they are and how they can be improved. Rather than being afraid of change, they embrace it and use their intelligence to create new ideas and solutions.


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